I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
