remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
