I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
