So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
