The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize