im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
