I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
