You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
