she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
