I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize