Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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