There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
