Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
