So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
