the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
