just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
