think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
