im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
