I heard we made out
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
