I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
