Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
