plz talk dirty to me
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
