Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize