Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
