Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
