i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
