So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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