no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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