So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
