would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
