they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
