i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ok first of all what the fuck
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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