we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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