i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My vagina is very pro this idea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize