Yo dont text me then not text me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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