FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
