WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
