Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
