Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize