So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
