Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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