I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
