We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I love you.
Bad choice
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
