clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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