We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
