Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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