If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
