As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
