sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
