shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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