Pappa wants mamma naked
I bet he comes in French.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
