Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's rum buckets o'clock
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
