so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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