It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
