Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
