i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
