my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
