Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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