woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
