OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
