Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
