just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
