tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
