I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just high enough for therapy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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