My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
