Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I believe in your delicious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
