I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
