I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
