Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
