we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
