I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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