Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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