is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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